Last Week 6/9 Season Total 6/9
Carlton vs Geelong MCG Thursday
Night
Did Carlton
let it slip last week? Are Geelong too old…again? These are the questions that have been
pondered for the week by all of the expert analysts. In reality the problem for both teams was Ed
Sheeran. Not a problem in the sense that
Ed was bursting out of the forward line on a tearing lead and slotting goals
from all over the 50 arc. No, Ed works
in more insidious ways by infesting the ears of the commonfolk with catchy
tunes and pithy lyrics such that they gather in masses in giant paddocks
stomping and killing lawn and generally making it hard to play a game of footy
a week later. What does this have to do
with this weeks match? Not a lot really,
but it was good to get my thought about that Sheeran jerk out in the open
(actually, your correspondent kinda likes those catchy tunes and pithy
lyrics…again, jerk!) Both Carlton and
Geelong will be keen to NOT start the season without a win after 2 matches, but
sadly for Carlton, I don’t think they have the ability that Geelong have to
score. Geelong by 21.
Brisbane vs Melbourne Gabba Friday Night
Brisbane will be glad to get back to their home soil and put last weeks
debacle against Port behind them. I did
say that the statistics usually show Port thumping Brisbane at Adelaide Oval so I can walk
around with my chest puffed out on that one.
Melbourne were at their devastating best
against the Bulldogs who it would seem have no answer to Melbournes run in the last few seasons. This is a tantalizing match up as it
potentially could be an early look at this years Grand Final. Brisbane
will need a solid plan to counter the Gawn/Grundy/Oliver/Petracca combination,
or at least a well trained individual on the top of the Clem Jones stand with a
high powered rifle. I just don’t think
that Brisbane have the manpower or callousness
to execute either of those options so it’s Melbourne by 16
for me.
Collingwood vs Port Adelaide MCG Saturday Morning
Both Collingwood and Port were big winners
from the weekend. The Pies rolled the
reigning premiers with one of their trademark come-from-behind victories and
Port turned a match against premiership contenders into a training run. This match is at the MCG which is perhaps a
good thing for Port Adelaide as they have a favourable record against the Pies
at that venue. Opposed to Marvel where
the Pies generally beat Port Adelaide.
Early season form is both the hardest to pick and the hardest to
maintain. Were Port that good or did Brisbane contribute to
that? Collingwood, we know play quite
consistently, but their free-flowing style can leave them open to being
exploited and Port have the cattle to do this.
At the risk of actually sounding like I know what I’m talking about,
I’ll pick Port Adelaide
by 25.
Adelaide vs Richmond Adelaide
Oval Saturday Afternoon
Richmond looked back to their old selves on the weekend with manic run and
locking the ball into their forward half.
Meanwhile, Adelaide
were strong early, but eventually overcome by a very determined GWS
outfit. When you are involved in a drawn
game, there are generally two ways you can feel about it; that it was an
opportunity lost, or that it was ok by you.
Usually this is related directly to whether you coughed up the lead or
snuck up from behind. Richmond, being in the latter of that
conundrum will have had a pretty settled week, despite not registering a
win. Adelaide, on the other hand, have been
embroiled in bump controversy, tribunal hearings and appeals which are an
unwanted distraction so early in your campaign.
My personal thoughts are after a lead up week of discussing potential
legal challenges for past players CTE’s, current player welfare and concussion
in general, Adelaide
should have just accepted things and moved on.
Appealing the decision, if they get away with it, would have dire consequences
for the league in the future. I think
I’m rambling now and putting my nose into places it doesn’t belong. McAdam will be practicing his slam dancing
techniques at home in future I think. Richmond
by 11.
Western Bulldogs vs Saint Kilda Marvel
Stadium Saturday Night
Remember that scene in Superman when that
‘diseased maniac’ Lex Luthor gets Superman to wear that Kryptonite
necklace. I’m reminded of it whenever
the Dogs play Melbourne. What Footscray need now is their very own
Miss Teschmacher to dive in and save them.
Enter Ross Lyon…perhaps not as attractive, but with the same net
gain. Ross was up to his old tricks last
weekend by taking a rag-tag group of immature boys out to play with a big fish
and dragging the game down into a scrappy affair that not even light has the
energy to escape from. As wiley as he
is, I don’t think he has the manpower to beat the boys from the Western
Suburbs. Did anyone else hold great
concerns for Bailey Smith’s beautiful face when Kozi Pickett tried to widen
it? Bulldogs by 31 points.
Fremantle vs Nth Melbourne Perth
Stadium Saturday Night
Flagmantle is over. After just one round, the experts have
written off Fremantle and also weighed in on the Fyfe Forward Flurry with
commentary so strong it sounds like Fremantle are destined to finish no higher
than 20th! But they’ll still
be above West Coast so their fans will be happy. On the other side of the coin, North
Melbourne, led by a plucky recruit who is known as The Cheezel, were so awesome
in their narrow win over West Coast (the team destined to finish 21st
out of 18) that the press practically have them walking home with the cup! It’s hard to take the experts seriously with
some of the comments they come up with sometimes. One thing is for sure, because Cheezels don’t
currently have a marketing campaign, Harry Sheezels management should be
reaching out this week. Can he use their
tagline? “Harry Sheezel is finger-licious fun.”
Hmmm, maybe not. I can also see a
link with a Hairy Cheezel which might be a euphemism for something entirely
different. Anyway…enough of the tasty
snack delights. Fremantle will bounce
back, it will be a fabulous flying Fyfe five and next week the experts will be
talking Flagmantle again. A reality
check for the Kangaroos and Alastair’s job will be in jeopardy according to the
experts. Fremantle by 34 points.
Sydney vs
Hawthorn SCG Sunday Morning
Sydney were awesome last week.
Hawthorn were deplorable. A
forced rest for a battle weary Lance Franklin.
Nothing else really to say as this will only hold interest for the
magnitude of the margin. Long year for
Hawks fans ahead. Sydney by 97 points.
Essendon vs Gold Coast Marvel Stadium Sunday Afternoon
Essendon were insatiable last week. A new coach at the helm and bit of bravado
and they put the Hawthorn Under-18’s to the sword early enough to show some
party tricks in the end. The view is
good from the top of the ladder. Gold
Coast on the other hand were out-classed, out-gunned, out-maneuvered and out of
the eight. They will be disappointed and
want to bounce back quickly. This is a
tough game to pick as Essendon are reasonably talented and so are Gold Coast,
but in the end neither team will be around at the pointy end so why bother
playing at all? Essendon by 18
points.
West Coast vs GWS Perth
Stadium Sunday Twilight
Finishing up Round 2 will be a twilight
game between West Coast and GWS. West
Coast were so bad in patches last week that they even made North
Melbourne look good. GWS
were stunning to turn around that match in that heat and pull off a comfortable
victory. Two games scheduled
back-to-back on the Perth Stadium surface which has been completely replaced
after Ed Sheerans fans (known as Sheerios) did what they do best and completely
‘F’ up a paddock. West Coast fans don’t
tolerate being cellar dwellers and the fact that Adam Simpson is still at the
helm with 2-27 record beggars belief as the rabid supporter-base usually start
sending death threats after 2 straight losses.
The risk here is the Sheerio effect with potential for PCLs, ACLs,
Syndesmosis, Planar Fasciitis, adductors and all manner of other strange words
we’ve had to become experts in as casual observes over the years. I can’t see GWS letting this one slip…but I’m
always open to surprises. GWS by
41 points.
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