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Round 1 Preview

  Last Week           3/5           Season Total      3/5 The first week (or is it the zeroth week?) of footy has been played.  The ladder is already taking shape, albeit in the shape of a lop-sided elephant with only 2 legs and a small human-like nose. Interestingly, I put those parameters into an AI image generator, and it came back with a picture of the AFL Ladder!  Meanwhile, the CEO of the Board of Peace has started a war which makes me think someone should check the pre-requisites for that position.  Fuel prices are sky-rocketing and so people are getting in fights at petrol stations and the ability to buy a jerrycan is severely diminished.  Toilet paper is still available… for now.  If you’ve got an electric car, you’re safe until the AI chips inside them start crashing them into petrol stations to make life even harder for t...

Round 0/Opening Round Preview 2026

  Last Week           0/0          Season Total      0/0   It’s official, the world has gone to the crapper.   Luckily, we can all choose a simple life and just watch the footy, which has returned this week after its annual hiatus.   I trust you were able to have a good off-season and catch up with family to the point that they’ve had enough of you and will leave you alone for the following 20-something weeks.   I say “20-something” as I really don’t know how long the season is anymore.   Firstly, we start counting at zero, I think, then some teams don’t start at zero and it seems like those teams only get one bye.   And now there’s some kind of wildcard round in play for some teams and so it all gets a bit confusing.   I feel like the following may be true:   Number of matches in a season played by any one team is equal...

2026 Pre-Season Analysis

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I was flat out trying to work out how I can bequeath my meagre wealth to Collingwood (luckily they provided me with a step by step guide) because I’m pretty sure that in the current economic climate it would be of no use to any of my dear family, when I had the sudden realization that the season starts in less than two weeks! I tried to enjoy the T20 World Cup, but it turns out the Australian Team have the skill of a sack of potatoes, and I found the Winter Olympics frustrating to watch.   Given the time of night it is on, I am consigned to watching the highlights.   I find it frustrating that Channel 9 doesn’t recognise that any other countries exist.   I can enjoy watching Australia, but when you get to see them crash out into last place and they don’t show you a world record setting run, I get annoyed. A highlight though was the State of Origin.   It was a well received, well supported contest and we look forward to another installment next year.   A tick...

2026 State of Origin Preview

Thank goodness for State of Origin Footy.   It rescues us from the sports wasteland of February between the end of Test Cricket and the start of the footy season proper.   There’s only so many Elvis movies one can consume.   Ok, it’s maybe not that bad with cricket tragics getting the T20 World Cup to revel in, but for me at least that’s just glorified backyard cricket.   I see a future where one hand one bounce is added to the rules and 6 and out will be a thing with batters being forced into the shame of retrieving the ball from Mrs. Gattley’s Rose bushes.   Of course, there is also the Winter Olympics which we’re currently in the midst of.   Where you can get your fill of sports like Curling, Skeleton and Ski-jumping which has had some recent controversy with competitors injecting a form of acid into their penises to make them bigger.   Allegedly it gives some kind of aerodynamic advantage…I’m guessing it’s something like Australia II and the secr...

2025 Finals Week 4 - Grand Final

Finals Week       2/2           Finals Total                         2/8 I’m guessing now that it is “Opposites World”.   I tried to get my tips wrong but got them both right.   I’m also declaring Hokball dead.   It works when you play lesser teams but in the crunch of a footy final against a good side, you might get a small break, but its unsustainable nature means it’s a fruitless exercise.   Hawthorn got their break and then Dangerfield said enough is enough and turned in what I think is one of the greatest finals performances I have ever watched.   The talk out of the match of course is that Tom Stewart will miss the Grand Final due to concussion protocols after a crunching, and subsequently reviewed as illegal, tackle.   It was bound to happen eventually...