Footy Tipping Software

Last Week           7/7           Season Total      94/135 It’s my second week in pugatory as I recover from ankle surgery so I am firing up the time machine to travel forward in time to see what’s cooking on the AFL calendar (I’ve written this before Round 14).   A considerable sense of relief accompanies the conclusion of the Bye’s. We now proceed with determining the final eight. I adhere strictly to the rule of not utilizing the time machine for future travel beyond what is absolutely necessary, and I abstain from seeking information that could be financially advantageous. My concern about creating a paradox leads me to avoid causing harm during my time travels, except in the case of Schrödinger's cats. The principle behind this whole time travel malarkey is that once one observes the future or opens the box, the waveform collapses, thereby altering t...

Last Week            4/7            Season Total       87/128 I’ve recently had ankle surgery and I’m writing this way back in the past for you to read now, in the future?   Am I a time traveler?   No.   If I were I would have won, the lottery by now and be writing this from Nassau after going back so far in time I didn’t tear a tendon.   I also reckon my tips would be much better.   Anyhow, as a result of writing this three weeks ago, I don’t know anything that’s happened since then and need to rely on my cunning and guile, of which I have none, so this is what they call in the industry a crapshoot. Port Adelaide vs Carlton               Adelaide Oval    Thursday Night Back in the past, I’m assuming these two teams are still no good.   But Port Adelaide ...

Last Week           5/8           Season Total      83/121 This week will be a brief one as I’m preparing for surgery during the middle of the week and I’ll be out of it for a few weeks.  But not to worry, the previews will continue, and you might even learn some more facts about strawberries or other inane, mindless crap.  I use the term ‘not to worry’ as I’m sure you’re all desperately worried about these nuggets of gold you find in here that make you all smarter…yeah right! Fremantle vs Essendon Perth Stadium    Thursday Night It was a win they had to dig deep for, but Freo got it in the end.   Essendon on the other hand dug deep but unfortunately, they have very short shovels.   That’s not a euphemism, or hangon, maybe it is? Just not a sexual one.   Or hangon…?   With a string of home games coming to an end soon,...

  Last Week           6/8           Season Total      78/113 The saga of the Strawberries continues but has now expanded as I’m getting punnets of 23 Strawberries.  I should be happy as there are more but it’s still a prime number.  Also, I cut them for my daughter who eats them all herself, so they are never shared with more than 1 person anyway…I just think it’s odd, that’s all.  Or perhaps it’s just me that’s odd?  You don’t need to say it. As I explained the previous week, I used a few beers to assemble a gym in our outdoor space.   The gym isn’t designed to be outdoors and after some torrential downpours, I had to have a few beers to disassemble it and then move it to a dryer space and drink some more beers to assemble it again.   The process took about 12 hours (over a couple of days) and at least 7 beers (I lost count ...

  Last Week           4/7           Season Total      72/105 The bye rounds stricken me with a kind of malaise that only a 7-match round can bring.  I used the extra time counting strawberries (another 17-strawberry punnet).  We should be careful in NOT bringing it to Big Farma’s attention because they will resolve it by making smaller punnets containing 8 or 10 strawberries only and charge us the same price.  Ideally, they give us a punnet of 12 strawberries as you can share that with 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 or 12 people.  So versatile.  Anyway…I think I’ve covered the strawberry conspiracy enough.  I also used the extra time on the weekend to construct an outdoor weights station at home as I’ll be needing it for rehab after some ankle surgery in the coming weeks.  The fact that I constructed it with a beer in hand was a juxtaposit...

  Last Week           5/9           Season Total      68/98 I’m going to start this weeks ramble with a non-footy topic.   You might retort, “when has any of this crap been about footy.”   You also might be correct, but this is an important and alarming community notice.   It’s not a crackpot conspiracy theory, I have gathered genuine volumes of evidence to support my claims.   Here it is:   Punnets of Strawberries are not designed to be shared.   They are designed to weave distrust and disharmony into the fabric of our society.   This is a deliberate and reckless act manifested by what I’m calling “Big Farma” designed to plummet our species into an existential crisis.   The evidence I have gathered is irrefutable.   I have kept detailed records showing that a punnet of strawberries ALWAYS contains a prime number...