Last Week 7/9 Season Total 45/63
It’s been a big week for the AFL. Finally, a new AFL CEO has been
appointed. It’s funny that a year-long
comprehensive and global search, leaving no stone unturned to find the absolute
best possible person out of the 7.9 billion people on the planet, finds out the
best person was in the office next door.
It’s hardly surprising really.
Allegedly in interviews, Dillon simply said he was a lawyer, and you
have some legal issues coming up and when they interviewed Gary Quan, rice
farmer from outback Vietnam,
he was a little hesitant presenting his 5-year vision for the business
transformation of the game. I blew my
interview when quizzed on my internet history.
Apparently, my cookies show that the same team always wins when I do the
ladder predictor, and this ruled me out.
But, is anyone else suspicious of the
replacement of Gillon with Dillon. Is
this a play by the media so they can simply roll out the same old stories from
the last 5 years without doing a Search and Replace? Caroline Wilson is on record from Footy
Classified (this is true) with the quote “Powerful People are working behind
the scenes as we speak…” And “Gillon will act as Consiglieri.” So, it seems, according to Caroline at least,
the AFL is now run by either The Mafia, Illuminati or Lizard People from
another galaxy. Some of the AFL
decisions may make more sense in that light?
The other big news of the week was the
unanimous vote and delivery of the 19th AFL license to create new
AFL and AFLW teams out of Tasmania. It’s been a long time coming and the fact
that the decision was unanimous really speaks to the alignment that the
Illuminati have in their grand plans to sell the Earth’s resources to the
Lizard People…wait, what!? Seriously
though, I’m looking forward to going and watching a game or two in Tassie in
the future and the biggest question now is, what will the team be called? Consensus is they will be the Tassie Devils
but somehow Warner Brothers bought the rights to that name to help sell
cartoons to kids so no doubt negotiations will be taking place behind the scenes
by powerful people to secure the name.
Maybe they will have to trade naming rights to the stadium…Bugs Bunny
Stadium? Suffering Succotash!
The 19th team has created
concern amongst the great unwashed on the need for a bye (although I remind
everyone that we have a bye already).
The AFL should know that prime numbers never work well for
fixturing. A number of people have
already proposed that there should be a 3rd team from WA. I guess anything would be better than what
they have at the moment!
Anyway, what’s happening in the matches this
week?
Carlton vs Brisbane Marvel Stadium Friday Night
Carlton made minced meat of West Coast on their home patch. It was merely a training run for Carlton who were able to
deliver Charlie Curnow a delightful 9-goal haul. Some Carlton
supporting friends of mine described it as a “good night.” Meeting Brisbane
will be a very different experience though.
Brisbane
continued their winning inertia after a win against lack-lustre Fremantle. However, Brisbane have been a bit fortunate with the
draw, only facing the well-regarded teams at home so this could be their first
real test. That being said, I think Brisbane has much slicker ball movement than Carlton (Docherty
excepted) and expect them to get the chocolates. Brisbane
by 18 points.
Richmond vs
West Coast MCG Saturday Afternoon
Richmond has a bad night against Gold Coast and remarkably sits at just a
single win (and a half) for the season.
The media wolves have started to circle Hardwick who still remains
upbeat and somewhat positive about Richmond’s
chances. Let’s be honest, 1.5 wins is
not much better than West Coast.
Speaking of which, the media wolves are not only circling Simmo now,
they are starting to take a few test-nips.
I’m not really sure what the guy can do though. This week he has to fly every fit player he
has over to the MCG. I believe the
flight will have more support staff than players. My advice to anyone in Melbourne that is keen, is to get along to
Young and Jacksons pre-game and bring your boots, you might be lucky enough to
have Simmo pop in on a quick recruiting drive.
This looms as an important battle with the heat of failure ratcheting up
on the loser. I think Simmo can absorb a
bit more heat so it will be Richmond
by 45 points in this one.
Geelong vs Adelaide Kardinia
Park Saturday Afternoon
Hawkins kicked a bag of 8 goals to steer Geelong home against
Essendon last week. Geelong is looking a little better than at
the start of the season but still are yet to prove themselves against red-hot
competition on neutral territory. This
game is at Kardinia Park where Geelong
has 8 of their last 16 games located.
The cigar-shaped ground is a perfect metaphor for that victory tradition
and Cats supporters will be able smoke one after the Cats smoke Adelaide. Adelaide
faces an uphill battle. After a
heart-breaking loss against the Pies, Adelaide
needs to work against some powerful and dark magic to break a curse that Damien
Barrett concocted this week. It seems
that if you lose to Collingwood, more than likely you lose the next week. Barrett certainly painted it as some kind of
Saruman style wizardry. Maybe it’s the
Large Hadron Collider or maybe, just maybe, it’s the fixture. That is usually put together with some eye of
newt. Anyway, the trend will continue,
and Barrett will make every effort to write a few more stories about it. Geelong
by 30 points.
Gold Coast vs Melbourne Carrara Saturday
Afternoon
Gold Coast put together a good game against
Richmond last
week. Even on their home turf though,
this week they’ll need to elevate a few more grades to get over Melbourne who
effortlessly swept aside North Melbourne. This win was kind of lost against the
backdrop of Carlton’s big win and Curnow’s 9-goals, but Melbourne is ticking
along quite nicely and now sit in second spot with the highest percentage. Despite their luck in having to play the
triple entente of Hawthorn, West Coast and North Melbourne
5 out of a possible maximum of 6 matches they continue to smash teams into
oblivion. Gold Coast will also succumb
to the Demon talents. Melbourne by 28 points.
GWS vs W. Bulldogs Manuka Oval Saturday Night
This match is at Manuka Oval and to me this
just seems like some kind of cruel and unusual punishment. To schedule this game at night when temperatures
are forecast to get down to 0 is just mean.
I’ve seen it before, in fact I’ve experienced it. You need to drink at least 6 beers to numb
yourself from the cold and then you wee your pants just to keep warm. But beware, you have to get up and move
around before you freeze yourself to a seat.
This match is either punishment or a testament to human capacity for
misery. This game could go either way. Time to stake a flag in the yellow snow. Footscray by 12 points. Unless there is a last gasp effort by Toby
again.
Fremantle vs Hawthorn Perth Stadium Saturday Night
No bones about it, this is an important
game for Freo. The media wolves are
starting to circle (they’ve been doing that a lot this week). And what was
built as a promising season has all but slipped away now. Hawthorn have been better in recent weeks
than earlier in the season with young players throwing caution to the wind and
playing some relatively exciting football.
The home turf of Perth Stadium offers little places to hide for Hawthorn
though and Fremantle will be dialing the defibrillator up to maximum to
resurrect their season before writing it off this week. Fremantle by 21 points.
Port Adelaide
vs Essendon Adelaide Oval Sunday
Afternoon
Essendon started off the season well and
then hit Collingwood and Geelong
in a double-hammer blow that sent them tumbling out of the top 8. Things don’t get any easier this week when
coming up against a resurged Port Adelaide in the comfort of their own
home. In fact, beating Port at Adelaide
Oval hasn’t been in the Essendon repertoire sinch 2018, which was the last time
they beat Port Adelaide at all. The only
thing that could possibly assist Essendon in this one is complacency on the part
of Port Adelaide. However, I think they
are unlikely to let this one slip as they try to muscle in on the top 4. Port Adelaide by 28 points.
Collingwood vs Sydney MCG Sunday Afternoon
As that old saying goes…revenge is a dish
best served by staff writers looking to make stories out of nothing. Look, I’m sure that Collingwood can use last
years Preliminary final as a bit of motivation for this game, but the reality
of Revenge is a far cry from a round 8 match up. Sydney
will be smarting after dropping the match against GWS. I for one had turned it off, thinking it was
a foregone conclusion only to find that some Toby Greene magic had flipped the
match (and improving my tips). Sydney will be looking to
exploit the Magpies on the wide expanses of the MCG…and they’ll tag
Daicos. Collingwood launched a trademark
come from behind victory to sink the Crows in the dying seconds. A narrative is starting to form centered mostly
around self-fulling prophecies which is squarely in the same bag as magic. But when you really dive into it, there is no
magic, no mystery. It can probably be
put down to fitness. If you look back at
three-quarter-time deficits, most of them are less than a goal, which you
almost wouldn’t say is a deficit. Sure,
some of them are from a bit further back, but rarely against the top
sides. So, what does this mean for the
game on Sunday? Both teams have some
injury issues, but the most remarkable thing about this match up is its
location. In the AFL’s drive to promote
football in NSW, this is the first time this match up has happened in Victoria in 10
years! Looks like someone forgot to add
the newt eye during the fixturing process.
Not that a game that long ago is relevant, but Sydney won that one by a comfortable 8 goals.
So, these two teams, meeting up at the MCG puts us in uncharted territory. To pull a result out of thin air, let’s say Collingwood
by 3 points (from behind of course).
North Melbourne vs St Kilda Marvel
Stadium Sunday Twilight
You know when you’ve been doing a lot of
work and running around all day, and you still have lots to do but decide to
take a 2-minute break by sitting down on the couch to watch some footy. Then your partner walks in and you’ve kind of
settled into a position that would only look more complete with a couple of
half-crushed, empty beer cans on the side table, a few deceased and haphazardly
discarded chip packets with accompanying crumbs down your front and evidence of
unslurped saliva rolling out of your mouth.
You get a look that can only be interpreted as, “You lazy little…” Not sure why I bring all that up, but my
Sunday afternoon is planned. St
Kilda by 34 points.
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