Round 16 AFL Preview

This is one of those rare weeks that I get to get away for a short holiday.  As a consequence, the preview will be brief.  Bali is hardly a place where I’ll be denied the ability to watch any footy…there’s probably more Australians there than in Australia.  I’ll just choose not to though…so here are some tips predicted with the help of some awful poetry.

Friday footy puts me in the mood for drinkin’

So Thursday footy throws me out and kinda gets me thinkin’

Who’s gonna win this bout between the Tigers and the Lions?

Which teams fans will laughing, and which ones will be cryin?

 

At home, at the Gabba your money is on Brissie

But the game could go the other way if Martin gets busy.

I won’t care as I’ll be drinking fancy drinks with parasols

So, let’s just say Brisbane, by a lazy seven goals

 

Meanwhile Sydney play Geelong up at the SCG

With Franklin, Hawkins and Cameron, kicking bags with Glee

But the ground is short and wide, so clearance is the king

And the best team at doing that, will be a certain thing

 

I’m inclined to go with the visitors, despite that Buddy gun

After all, it’s been a while, since he’s kicked more than a tonne

The margin I’m not sure of, I need to check the stats

But I need not look too deep, to select the mighty Cats

 

Adelaide is hot, when they’re playing at home

A match-up against the Roos, their fans will start to foam

This will be a case of how far, how much, how high

Stay strong, North supporters, don’t let them see you cry

 

The future is in Uniacke, and a plucky Harry Sheezel

Who plays devoid of fear, and is powered by bio-diesel

The die is cast, the decision is made, the winner is a lock

It’s going to be the speedy Crows, by one heck of a lot.

 

Down at Marvel Stadium, the Dockers play the Dogs

In front of all their fans, and a bunch of useless flogs

More recently, the Freo game has been getting ranker

As if someone cast away their sacred giant anchor

 

Freo’s game will suit the ground, if they play for fun

But on this occasion, sad to say, it will be a swift kick up the bum

Footscray have defensive issues, a fact that’s not denied

But its Footscray by 32 to restore that Bulldog pride

 

Gold Coast host the Pies and the stadium will be full

As the Magpie Army anywhere, has considerable pull

For the young Suns, in a vigorous 3-hour session

They’ll be run off their feet in a nasty football lesson

 

There is a case for the Suns, in conditions that will be dewy

But the Pies are on the march and won’t let things get screwy

The margin is a puzzle, as Gold Coast will not stand inert

It’s Collingwood by a few, no matter how many they convert

 

Turnabout will be on their minds, as The Bombers host The Power

The motto is to kick more goals and enjoy that post-match shower

The Bombers nearly got the Power last time that they met

It might give Port Adelaide a serious reason to fret

 

After the bye Port must be careful not to be caught slow

Because the Dons will be up and about…all go, go, go

I’m not willing to bet, so I’ll have to take a stab

I’ll stay with Port Adelaide by 11 points, according to the lab

 

On Sunday the Hawks take on the Blues in an epic battle royal

Forwards to lead from the front, and the defenders need to spoil

A game like this will require execution with precision

Like a surgeon and their scalpel, performing a circumcision

 

Play it right, fight hard and bring a lot more toil

And the victor will be standing there, like a Jewish Mohel

Who will be that team that’s standing there so proud

Carlton is the one, to the cheers of their crowd.

 

The game will go to Alice Springs, just out by the Gap

Every year the crowd out there looks forward to first tap

The Demon team is well organized and strong

And now their fabled ruck division is better…two-prong

 

Throughout the game, the Giants will feel as if in a trap

Down to Oliver, Petracca, to Viney, then Fritsch, then…Zap!

I can’t make a case for the Giants in this game

Melbourne by 14 points. At this ground last year ‘twas the same

 

The last match of the round sees the Saints play West Coast

Even at Perth Stadium, Lyons chargers will have them on toast

No more matches in Perth for the Saints, required not to come again

This is a game they’ll win for sure.  No need for a mulligan

 

I won’t get to watch, I’ll be on a plane, flying back to Australia

I’m resisting the urge to rhyme this rhyme with clumsy genitalia

The final word is Saint Kilda by 45, but that’s just a guess

And all I can do is apologise for my poetry skills no less.

 

The games are:

Brisbane vs Richmond   Gabba   Thursday Night

Sydney vs Geelong         SCG        Friday Night

Adelaide vs North Melbourne   Adelaide Oval   Saturday Afternoon 

Footscray vs Fremantle Marvel Stadium               Saturday Afternoon

Gold Coast vs Collingwood         Heritage Stadium            Saturday Twilight

Essendon vs Port Adelaide          MCG      Saturday Night

Hawthorn vs Carlton      MCG      Sunday Afternoon

Melbourne vs Greater Western Sydney                Traeger Park       Sunday Afternoon

West Coast vs Saint Kilda             Perth Stadium   Sunday Twilight