Last Week 8/9 Season
Total 102/144
I’m back.
Well, sort of. I’m still not
terribly mobile and diligently doing my rehab to restore my ankle to its former
glory. But then, its former glory was as
a relatively benign appendage underneath a repeatedly torn and largely useless
calf. Anyway, the surgery went well
although I have discovered that clandestine government agencies should dispense
with all the water boarding and electrifying genitals crap and just give their
interrogation targets ankle surgery. Not
only was I in more pain than I would wish for, but the moon boot is possibly
the most frustrating apparatus to contend with.
I see that my time travelling was pretty
darn effective when it came to footy tipping.
Maybe I’ve found a way to defeat the problem with time travel. When you go and look at the future, you
change it. It’s a whole Schrodinger’s
Cat / Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle thing.
That would probably have been good information to give you BEFORE I sent
you tipping suggestions from the future, but then if you’re relying on me for
cogent tipping advice then you’ve probably got deeper issues. In any event, if I have solved that issue
then I’d better get myself to the patent office.
Now that I’m back, I have to rely on
historical facts to provide supporting reasoning for getting my tips terribly
wrong. Here goes…
Carlton vs Brisbane Marvel Stadium Thursday Night
The media and coaches are all tuned into
the same line and are calling July ‘Big Boy’ month and there is no reprieve
here for a floundering Carlton as they face a foe who is one of the biggest of
big boys. The Blues got absolutely
spiflicated by an all-powerful Pies outfit while Brisbane flexed their Big Boy muscles and
showed Port that they are merely children sitting at the Big Boys table. A lot has been written about Carlton’s woes of late and the pressure that
is on Voss and the board. This match
will only serve to intensify that as they get the kind of bruising and
battering that happens when boys wrestle with men. It might not be all that well attended for a
Carlton home game given most of the memberships have found their way into
microwaves and scarves into pot bellies around the greater Melbourne area. I also think the best thing Tom De Koning can
do now is fake an injury to protect his brand and prospective contract. Brisbane
by 41 points.
Gold Coast vs Collingwood Carrara Friday Night
As mentioned, the Pies worked over the
Blues last week while Gold Coast dispatched Essendon in a last quarter
trouncing. This is the one and only
matchup between these teams in the regular season which sees Collingwood travel
up to Carrara for the 4th time in a row as the AFL continue to try
and push the sport into the Northern states.
It’s also almost the 34th anniversary of the time Peter
Daicos kicked 13 goals at Carrara. Can the combined Daicii boys beat their old
man? I doubt it. For Collingwood there are selection dilemmas
aplenty with everyone contributing so well and a host of first 22 players still
on the sidelines waiting to come back.
It’s a good problem to have, I guess.
But a bad problem to have is playing Gold Coast on their home patch where
they have been rather dominant for a couple of years. Is Gold Coast really a big boy? I think Collingwood is but certainly there is
motivation for Gold Coast as a win here would almost guarantee their place in
the finals for the first time in their history.
Collingwood has theoretically already qualified and might not have as
much to play for as players now go into preservation mode to ensure they’re
still fit enough to play finals. That’s
the risk for the Pies. Collingwood
by 11 points.
Footscray vs Adelaide Marvel
Stadium Saturday Afternoon
The all-conquering Adelaide forwards conquered another defensive
unit last week, but this week they come up against a Footscray side that knows
how to go on the attack. This game will
be a great watch with both teams being a lot more focused on the centre to
forward area than the back. Will either
team care if they get scored against or is it just a case “score more than your
opponent?” I really don’t know where I
am sitting on this one but will probably lean towards Footscray just because
it’s at Marvel. Adelaide isn’t so crash hot there. They’ve had two wins in the last two visits,
but that was against Carlton
and Essendon by two points and two points respectively. That’s a lot of two’s! We all know how much Footscray loves it
there. Interestingly they usually play
this out in Ballarat, so this is the first meeting here in 9 years. Footscray by 17 points.
GWS vs Geelong Showgrounds Saturday Afternoon
The orange tsunami is coming for us
all. They have found their mojo again,
albeit with the help of an easy kill against West Coast. Geelong
has easy kills galore in the back half of the season and this is perhaps their
only test on the run home. Last week it
was easily pushing aside Richmond
but building a seawall that can hold back a tsunami is a whole other task. Especially in the tsunami’s backyard. And if I’m going to keep the simile going,
the tide is also turning against the Cats at The Showgrounds. The four matches they’ve played there have
gone Win, Win, Draw and Loss although they haven’t set foot on the Showgrounds
since 2020. Geelong is a well drilled outfit and GWS has
beaten up a few minnows lately, but I think, now it’s big boy month, we’ll see
just how much they’ve grown. GWS
by 15 points.
Richmond vs
Essendon MCG Saturday Night
Now that we are pretty much familiar with
who will play finals and who will not, this game becomes a bit of a non-event
for anyone who is not a diehard fan of either club. Essendon will have a bit of confidence from
their performance for the first three quarters against Gold Coast Last week,
but Richmond
will have to look further back in time to find confidence. If you’re not interested in this one, there’s
always The Evian LPGA, The PGA/European Tour Scottish Open or the Tour de
France or Wimbledon. Or you can do some ankle rehab. Essendon by 23 points.
Fremantle vs Hawthorn Perth Stadium Saturday
Night
After a mid-season lull, Hawthorn bounced
back into contention, but then contention runs all the way down to ninth on the
ladder, which is where Fremantle are, trying to break into a spot in the
finals. This is a tricky match. Fremantle looked to be humming along but was
benefitting from a brace of home games against lowly opposition. This match offers a real test against a
Bonafide contender who has not beaten Fremantle at Perth Stadium since
2018. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt
from watching Fremantle it’s that the opposite of what you’d think will happen. Fremantle by 6 points.
Melbourne vs North Melbourne MCG Sunday Afternoon
The Demons were certainly serviceable in Adelaide and North Melbourne
had a spirited first half to celebrate their sesquicentennial but fell away in
the end. It’s still hard to tip North Melbourne even though they have shown flashes of
brilliance this year. Melbourne by 13 points.
Saint Kilda vs Sydney Marvel
Stadium Sunday Afternoon
It’s clear that Saint Kilda aren’t going to
play in the finals and if the commentators are to be listened to, Sydney are shoe-ins to play
in the finals. Apparently if they win
seven of the last seven then they’ll be in the finals. I think the commentators get a bit excited
sometimes. They forget that this also
means that one of the many teams above them has to lose 3 of the last seven or,
because of percentage, Sydney
really has to win 8 of the last 7 or the teams above them have to lose 4 of the
last seven. Anyway, the calculations
continue, and this will make the commentators talk it up more. Sydney by 31 points.
Port Adelaide
vs West Coast Adelaide Oval Sunday Twilight
It was a dark night for Port Adelaide as Brisbane put their season
to the sword. Well, not really,
according to some, they can still make the finals if they win all 7 of their
last 7. West Coast have been playing for
other reasons this season anyway and haven’t been in the calculations for
finals since 2 minutes into the first quarter of Round 1. Because of that…Port Adelaide by 36 points.
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