Round 14 Preview

 Last Week           6/8           Season Total      78/113

The saga of the Strawberries continues but has now expanded as I’m getting punnets of 23 Strawberries.  I should be happy as there are more but it’s still a prime number.  Also, I cut them for my daughter who eats them all herself, so they are never shared with more than 1 person anyway…I just think it’s odd, that’s all.  Or perhaps it’s just me that’s odd?  You don’t need to say it.

As I explained the previous week, I used a few beers to assemble a gym in our outdoor space.  The gym isn’t designed to be outdoors and after some torrential downpours, I had to have a few beers to disassemble it and then move it to a dryer space and drink some more beers to assemble it again.  The process took about 12 hours (over a couple of days) and at least 7 beers (I lost count I think).  It can’t stay where it is currently either so no doubt there will be many more beers and moving it around some more.  The good news is, with all this activity I’ve put on a kilo, which I can only assume is muscle mass…hmm. 

It seems like I don’t need to actually use the gym, I just have to move it frequently and gain benefit and can drink all the beers I want to at the time.  Inside the house, outside the house…it keeps changing.  If I can convince the wife to go in and out on a weekly basis, she’ll sign off on the beers.  But that’s every mans pipe dream, isn’t it?  Half a dozen beers and weekly in and out with the wife.

Moving right along…let’s focus on the footy.

St Kilda vs Footscray      Marvel Stadium               Thursday Night

The Dogs had an unexpected loss last week against an undermanned and out-gunned Hawks outfit.  I sat down to watch it with interest but when I saw how far Footscray were off their game I knew it wasn’t going to end well so switched it off.  On the good news front, they have signed Bevo again so part of the media rumour mill can be closed down.  The Saints are coming off their bye and would be hoping to avoid any post-bye malaise that it usually brings.  Footscray by 15 points.

Hawthorn vs Adelaide  York Park             Friday Night

You know what they say, No Sicily, no worries.  But there are plenty of reasons to worry this week.  While they may be at their home ground in Tassie this week, they have to deal with the Triumvirate of Terror with their undersized backline and a mauling could be on the cards.  It promises to be a good match.  If only Tasmania had some kind of stadium with a roof, they would likely fill it.  Oh yeah, back to the polls for Tassie I guess, with the Stadium being a hot button issue.  They’ll still get the numbers at the game though.  York Park has a capacity of 19,500 so if they do a head count, they could get up to 39,000 there.  Here's an interesting fact about the names of Adelaide players…Hinge, Keayes and Butts (wooden joints) are all related to doors.  Adelaide by 27 points.

Brisbane vs GWS             Gabba   Saturday Afternoon

The Lions also got the staggers last week and should have won after having 11 shots at goal in the last quarter for a return of 0 goals 8 behinds.  Meanwhile the Crows had a perfect quarter kicking 5 goals straight…that’s just poor football.  They’ll be looking to turn that around this week and should do so against a GWS outfit that has just lost their way.  Brisbane by 23 points.

Essendon vs Geelong    MCG      Saturday Afternoon

They are losing, but despite their injury list being longer than a Tour de France Stage, the Bombers have conducted themselves with a bit of grit.  They just lack a bit of composure and experience when it counts.  Geelong on the other hand have almost no skill whatsoever but win based entirely on composure and experience.  Ok, maybe they’ve got a bit of skill.  But something they do have is a run home that inexplicably includes Essendon twice and Richmond twice as well as every team in between.  I’d call for an investigation into how this happened, but no one keeps a record of how many virgins were sacrificed to the gods for that one.  Geelong by 32 points.

North Melbourne vs Fremantle                Perth Stadium   Saturday Night

It was a plucky win by North Melbourne last week.  Or should that be lucky?...It was a behind-fest by West Coast.  I can’t see them being as lucky this week against Fremantle who are coming off a bye, but you never know.  Freo were quite determined in the weeks leading up to the bye and that’s the kind of break that you don’t need.  Meanwhile Zurhaar was given the keys to the city of Bunbury in a presentation after the match.  They don’t physically do anything, but maybe they’d fetch a few dollars on eBay.  Fremantle by 19 points.

Port Adelaide vs Melbourne      Adelaide Oval   Sunday Afternoon

Nobody expected it, but Port Adelaide got up and won last week.  One more week for Hinkley.  Meanwhile, Melbourne came up against that wascally wabbit in Collingwood who just seem to know how to squeak through in the close ones.  Some of the talk from the match was about the free kicks, there being none paid in the first half when Daicos was being drawn, quartered and garroted to paying too many, mostly wrong ones in the second half.  There was no middle ground it seems.  But most of the talk was about May chipping Gawn for his mis-kick at the end.  Personally, I thought it was pretty ballsy to go and berate the man who almost won you the match that week and wins you the match every other week.  Anyway, some frank discussions to be held behind closed doors and it doesn’t get any easier with a trip to Adelaide Oval.  But the D’s have a pretty healthy record against Port.  Maybe a good one for an upset.  Port Adelaide by 10 points.

West Coast vs Carlton    Perth Stadium   Sunday Twilight

Wayward kicking cost West Coast last weekend and Carlton didn’t lose although not through lack of trying.  It’s a rare double at Perth Stadium this weekend and the WA viewing public won’t know what hit them with two games to go to.  A few showers forecast for both of them which can make the Perth grass a bit greasy and difficult to keep your footing.  This is not a game for Carlton to take lightly.  They should get the job done but don’t expect West Coast to just roll over for them.  Carlton by 18 points.

Byes
Sorry to say but Byes bring out the worst in me.
A fact that, if you read on, you will plainly see.
The next 3 weeks are a terrible time.
As these teams seasons are condensed in rhyme.

Collingwood
At the start of the year, it was “too old, too slow.”
Since then, it’s been all go, go, go.
But as stereotypes go the talks moved to “wise”
And mobility Scooters for these old Pies 

But I’m old too and I can relate
It’s all about managing the father-son birthrate.
This draft-diddling rule is one big Con
They’ve got the Daicos’s now and next year McGuane. 

Gold Coast
You know I have to mention it, definitely, maybe
How good it is, to be a Nepo Baby
The way the AFL treats them, it must be great,
To be this far in barely playing a team in the eight.

But seriously though, it matters not which state they are in
They’ll beat ‘em at home, in Melbourne, or Darwin
But they must keep fighting, don’t throw in the towel
To keep the services of Matty Rowell

Sydney
What a year, an absolute pisser
About as much fun as an anal fissure
It’s hard sometimes, after a Grand Final loss
To keep pushing on and not serve up some dross

It hasn’t helped as injuries mount
They’ll need to make the second half count
And win some matches, make Big Cox proud
And also win back the fickle Swans crowd.

Richmond
A season of growth, that’s for sure
They’ve changed their model, like Niels Bohr
Yze has set them on a brand new course
Like Bohr’s model atom and the electrostatic force

But science has no place in the modern game
Players need to be flashy and generate fame
At least do their best and try not to falter
Lest you end up in the clink, like Noah Balter