Round 15 Preview

Last Week           5/8           Season Total      83/121

This week will be a brief one as I’m preparing for surgery during the middle of the week and I’ll be out of it for a few weeks.  But not to worry, the previews will continue, and you might even learn some more facts about strawberries or other inane, mindless crap.  I use the term ‘not to worry’ as I’m sure you’re all desperately worried about these nuggets of gold you find in here that make you all smarter…yeah right!

Fremantle vs Essendon Perth Stadium   Thursday Night

It was a win they had to dig deep for, but Freo got it in the end.  Essendon on the other hand dug deep but unfortunately, they have very short shovels.  That’s not a euphemism, or hangon, maybe it is? Just not a sexual one.  Or hangon…?  With a string of home games coming to an end soon, Freo needs to maximise this effort to keep the ball rolling.  Fremantle by 36 points.

Geelong vs Brisbane      Kardinia Park     Friday Night

We’re all waiting for Brisbane to arrive in 2025.  Another loss at home last week doesn’t fill us with confidence and yet they’re still at the business end of the ladder.  The Cats Murderised the Bombers last week and will be looking to do the same against the Lions.  The Lions are hopeless at Kardinia Park.  They haven’t won there since the glory days of 2003.  Geelong by 15 points.

Carlton vs North Melbourne      MCG      Saturday Afternoon

Strangely both of these teams will be returning from WA this weekend.  If a team normally loses from that return leg, what happens here?  Will the world end in a puff of logic?  I hope not…I’ve got plans once I heal from surgery.  Carlton by 17 points.

Port Adelaide vs Sydney              Adelaide Oval   Saturday Afternoon

The Swans are coming off the bye and Port are coming off a gritty win against Melbourne.  The Swans certainly looked a lot better in the game just prior to the bye, but it was against the Tigers so I’m not sure how much to factor that into the planning.  I’ll go with Port, but if the Swans win, I’ll try and change it after the fact.  Port Adelaide by 21 points.

Collingwood vs Saint Kilda          Marvel Stadium               Saturday Night

The Pies had the week off and took the opportunity to get the bolts tightened on the Zimmer Frames and a lube and 8-point safety check of the Mobility Scooters.  Meanwhile St Kilda got a fair old walloping from the ‘Scrays.  The fact that this is at Marvel Stadium adds a bit more credence to a St. Kilda upset as The Pies don’t traditionally do well undertaking one of their longest road trips for the back half of the year.  But we’re talking about 1^st versus 14^th, so you’d be classed a fool or a madman to tip against Collingwood.  If you do take the upset and get the point you can walk through the halls of your office with a smugness that will be the envy of your co-workers, who all know you jagged it.  Collingwood by 26 points.

GWS vs Gold Coast         Showgrounds    Sunday Afternoon

The Expansion Excitation, that’s what I’m calling this match.  GWS come off a stirring victory against Brisbane enacting some revenge for their finals exit last season.  Have they returned to form?  Gold Coast are coming off a bye and have played so few top 8 sides this season its hard to determine whether they’re any good at it or not.  I’m predicting they’re not.  GWS by 23 points.

Footscray vs Richmond Marvel Stadium               Sunday Twilight

Rounding out this weeks matches will be a Footscray smashing of Richmond.  The Dogs were buoyed last week by the return of big clunking spearhead Darcy (that sounds like an insult), and I don’t think Richmond will have an answer for that.  The less experienced bodies will get out muscled in the clearances and this will give the big unit a first look at the ball.  Footscray by 81 points.

Byes
Sorry to say but Byes bring out the worst in me.
A fact that, if you read on, you will plainly see.
The next 2 weeks are a terrible time.
As these teams seasons are condensed in rhyme.

Adelaide
For the Crows it’s all about the triumvirate of terror
Wet or dry, selecting them all is not done in error
They make it hard for any defense
Inside their back-end arc it’s very tense

And pumping it in are the likes of Josh Rechele
Who puts the ball right on their belly.
The season will tell us if the gamble works
Or if the three of them are a bunch of jerks.

Hawthorn
A season that started with a heap of promise
But recent form leaves us a doubting Thomas.
I feel that their stature has been forced upon us
As they prance around like the rascal Adonis

Will they play in the finals?  Time will tell
As the rest of the teams just give ‘em hell
They don’t have the flair, and they don’t have the cattle
To make it through to the final battle.

Melbourne
The Dees have really had their troubles
Seems they’re living in their bubbles
But they pulled themselves right out the shit
By playing the teams that aren’t as fit

Now the season’s hard again
If they’ll win, we don’t know when
But no need to worry, don’t cry, “Alas!”
Just make good use of the seasonal lift pass.

West Coast
Are they getting better, I just don’t know?
On the field, it doesn’t show
They’ve been de-clawed, no sharp talon
And the Hawks are scouting Oscar Alan

With no chance to retain young Reid
I can’t see a future where they succeed
To turn it ‘round they’ll need some luck
And their players need to give a f…