Round 22 Preview

 Last Week           7/9           Season Total      129/180

 We’ve finally had our first coach sacking of 2025.  Simon Goodwin has been let go with immediate effect and we won’t be seeing him again for the rest of the season.  The board at Melbourne has spoken and has clearly mandated that 83-point victories will not be tolerated under any circumstances.  They just won’t stand for those kinds of shenanigans, and this is grounds for instant dismissal.  What does this mean for Melbourne going forward with a number of players futures up in the air and speculation growing in the media?  We’ll find out, I guess.  In the world outside of AFL (assuming it exists), India won a remarkable test match against England needing 4 wickets before they got 35 runs.  Woakes even stepped out to bat with his arm in a sling.  If you’re like me and getting sick of footy (I’ve only watched an hour of footy in the last 8 weeks), this has been an enthralling test series, balanced at 2-2 and worth watching.

But, if you’re still keen on AFL, read on… 

Hawthorn vs Collingwood           MCG      Thursday Night

Is Collingwood on shaky ground?  We’re about to find out.  I heard a grand conspiracy theory that I’d like to share with you.  If Collingwood finished top of the ladder, they would have been unable to muster the necessary points they need in the draft for their father/son targets.  Only second or lower provides this benefit.  On top of that, they have spent weeks playing trash footy while every team tries out their ‘beat Collingwood’ tactic to see if it will stand up in the finals so Collingwood has now tricked them into not only revealing it, but making them think it’s successful all while getting the necessary draft points they need to become rulers of the known universe.  It’s right up there with the Lizard people, that one!  All Hawthorn can do is win.  And they have to do it without Will Day which is a tough ask.  Some of the Collingwood backline cattle will return this week to counter the Hawthorn tall forwards and give Moore a chop out against all these guys who like kicking 6-goals.  Is Collingwood really tricking everyone?  I don’t think so, they’re just too old and too slow.  Calsher Dear to kick 6 on MooreHawthorn by 19 points.

Geelong vs Essendon    Kardinia Park     Friday Night

Another training run for Geelong.  Down on the cigar that is Kardinia Park, this could get ugly for Essendon.  The only way to make it more interesting is if Chris and Brad sat in the wrong coaches boxes…I mean, who would know?  Geelong by 92 points.

Richmond vs Saint Kilda               MCG      Saturday Afternoon

This is one of those games that, when you’re doing the ladder predictor, simply click on any team because it is of no consequence to anything or anyone except fans.  Again, a reason not to watch the footy.  Richmond has been quite serviceable in the last few weeks, which gives their fans hope for the future.  Saint Kilda have Milera.  Saint Kilda by 13 Milera’s.

Brisbane vs Sydney         Gabba                   Saturday Afternoon

Did the giant awaken last week after crushing the Collingwood tankers?  Or were they only as good as tanking Collingwood allowed them to look?  Brisbane’s form has been patchy this year and while a good outing against Collingwood, they are still vulnerable and now without Lachie Neale for the rest of the regular season.  Sydney would like nothing better than to take Brisbane’s scalp and present it on a nice silver platter to incoming CEO Matthew Pavlich.  Although unable to make finals, I expect Sydney to want to finish the season strongly.  The Gabba is the factor.  Brisbane by 11 points.

Carlton vs Gold Coast    Marvel Stadium               Saturday Night

There was much fanfare about Carlton’s loss to Fremantle.  Apparently, it was the best they had played all season.  Voss needs to tread carefully as Melbourne showed how easy it can be to remove the coach.  If there’s coaching talent out there, don’t you think Carlton would want first dibs?  If they wait to sack Voss, they might get the second choice.  Could be a hot week for Voss.  Oh yeah, and Gold Coast should win.  Gold Coast by 31 points.

Port Adelaide vs Fremantle        Adelaide Oval   Saturday Night

Travis Boak has pulled the pin on his long career.  Will this provide the spark needed for Port Adelaide to stand up and be counted against Fremantle?  Certainly, it seems that Hinkley’s departure isn’t a strong enough reason.  I know Fremantle fans are expecting something that happens so often it has a name, “The Hurdle Stumble.”  This is that act where the finish line is in sight, you clear the lead leg on the hurdle, but the trail leg clips the top of the hurdle you fall and look up with an expression of anguish on your face as runners pass you.  You then spend the off-season contemplating a career in Javelin.  Why do I know this in great detail?  In high school, I entered the hurdle race to impress a girl I liked who asked me to do it.  She was not impressed.  We are both now married to very different, but very lovely ladies.  Anyway…none of this helps with tipping, unless you think this is where the Hurdle Stumble happens.  Need to make up a point on your rivals, go Port Adelaide, otherwise Fremantle by 15 points.

GWS vs North Melbourne           Manuka Oval     Sunday Afternoon

Speaking of stumbles, GWS had a big one last week.  Does Toby Green really mean that much to them?  North Melbourne is showing how not to do a rebuild.  It’s taking too long, and their old recruits are too old.  Do they go fishing off the Collingwood pier and try and top up on some of their disgruntled older brigade trying to land one more paycheck?  That’s a question for next season.  GWS by 35 points.

Melbourne vs Footscray               MCG      Sunday Afternoon

I don’t even know who’s going to be coaching Melbourne this week.  I have not read deeply into the situation.  All I know, is that after the St Kilda loss, Goodwin said in his press conference, and I paraphrase, “The board and me are aligned on the direction of this club.” And at the press conference sacking a week later, the board said, and I paraphrase, “We can’t keep going in this direction.”  Either someone needs to give Goodwin a dictionary with “Aligned” highlighted as a going away present, or the entire club should always face the board at all times as they are a sniping bunch of two-faced c&^ts.  But its ok, there was a lot of love for Simon.  He is a much loved man, the best guy, the greatest man you could have around the club and has the prefect backside for pressing your heel into as you’re pushing him out the door.

As we know, there is always some kind of rebound or response from the players when this sort of thing happens.  It’s the players way of showing the world it’s not the coaches fault, it was us playing badly for him.  Footscray will need to be careful.  Footscray by 22 points.

West Coast vs Adelaide                                Perth Stadium   Sunday Twilight

It will be an early end for the weekend.  I don’t even think this will be fun for Adelaide supporters to watch.  It’s not like you draw a big crowd for a training run.  They’re on top of the ladder and with the highest percentage.  It might be a good week to rest a few players.  West Coast have no desire to try and put up the good fight as this would just influence the AFL’s decision on whether they deserve some kind of draft relief.  If you’re a masochist, watch on, otherwise, avert your gaze.  Adelaide by 91 points.

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