2025 Finals Week 4 - Grand Final

Finals Week       2/2           Finals Total                         2/8

I’m guessing now that it is “Opposites World”.  I tried to get my tips wrong but got them both right.  I’m also declaring Hokball dead.  It works when you play lesser teams but in the crunch of a footy final against a good side, you might get a small break, but its unsustainable nature means it’s a fruitless exercise.  Hawthorn got their break and then Dangerfield said enough is enough and turned in what I think is one of the greatest finals performances I have ever watched.  The talk out of the match of course is that Tom Stewart will miss the Grand Final due to concussion protocols after a crunching, and subsequently reviewed as illegal, tackle.  It was bound to happen eventually.  This also opened the argument that the bye should be moved from post season to post preliminary final to avoid this sort of thing precisely.  Given they’re also looking to extend the concussion protocol from 12 days to 21 probably means it doesn’t matter.  I personally think the solution is that a Premiership takes a squad, if Stewart (or anyone else in the future) misses the actual event, they should still get a medal.  Their contribution is recognised and acknowledged.  I think this concept is avoided as someone inevitably says they’d need to award medals to all the squad members from every Grand Final previously played.  The answer is no they don’t.  Just say, “From now on.”  They do it with rules which impact match results all the time.

Speaking of which, Collingwood also lost and are out.  As usual, they were robbed (I think this happens with every Collingwood finals loss).  As a supporter myself, I’m disappointed but figure I can treat the loss in one of two ways.  I can acknowledge that Brisbane was brilliant, their stoppage and clearance work was superior, and Collingwood had no answer for it.  The loss of Mr. Organiser, Pendlebury was costly but in the end the margin was reflective of the difference between the two teams.  Twenty-five scoring shots to 16 tells you a lot about dominance.  The other way to look at it is to take the Trump view of the world and declare the Collingwood loss as “Fake News.”  This also means this week’s Grand Final will be fake news and Collingwood will chalk up another premiership.  I like this approach as it also means my handicap will automatically be 10 strokes less, my ball will never be in the rough and I will win all golf tournaments I enter so long as I’m in charge of the counting.  This new utopia is a fine place to be indeed.  They say you need lows to be able to appreciate the highs, but that’s just fake news.  Find out more on the social media platform I’ve just created that speaks only in aphorisms.  I’ve given it the catchy marketing name “Exactitude.”

If you’re an avid sports watcher you would have also seen Piastri crash out of the formula 1, Minjee Lee lose in a playoff, Min Woo Lee lose after leading, The Australian Men’s 4 x 400 relay team get a DQ.  But, if you close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, “Fake News” you can imagine a much better sporting weekend.

The Brownlow was run and done and not without its usual controversies.  Congratulations to Matt Rowell, who is a deserved winner despite a bunch of voting anomalies.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; the award is a bit of a farce.  The job of an AFL umpire is hard enough.  If you want to persist in letting them award these votes, then give them some assistance.  Maybe some basic stats or the ability to vote after a video replay.  The only good thing is that the writing was on the wall that Rowell would win early enough that you could still put some money on for a decent return.  I know I did.

This is my last preview of the year.  Normally I do a post GF review, but I’ll be in another country moments after the final siren blows so this is where I’ll leave you.  We covered a lot of ground this year from actual serious footy stuff to prime numbers in the world of strawberries.  I hope you enjoyed it, or at the very least got angered by it.

Geelong vs Brisbane      MCG      Saturday Afternoon

What an interesting pairing we have here.  Geelong had the easiest draw of any team this year and this certainly helped them get to the finals.  Brisbane had to play more top 8 sides than any other in order to get to this game.  Firstly, let’s get the conspiracy out of the way…The AFL prefers the Grand Final to be between a Victorian club and a non-Victorian club.  They conspire with Big Pharma and the Lizard People to make sure this happens, but sprinkle in a few other results every now and then to keep us off the scent.  It is true that the number of times a Victorian team and a non-victorian team have squared off is quite a lot more than a normal probability would say that it should happen.  And it’s true that the number of times that an all-Victorian or an all-interstate grand final has happened is less than it statistically should happen.  And it’s true that WA and SA have well established state leagues and the AFL invests heavily into NSW and QLD to make sure those teams are more than competitive…Hmmm, maybe not a conspiracy, maybe an aphorism to post to Exactitude.

Ok, now that we’ve covered why these teams are eating at the Big Boys table, let’s look a bit more closely at the meal…

At the heart of any good meal is the meat (unless you’re a vegetarian in which case the heart of any good meal is probably the middle of the artichoke).  The meat in this case is the midfield and the choice cut here would be the Paddy (patty).  But this paddy is no loose conglomeration of mince which crumbles in your hands, this is a Paddy of tough grizzled and sinewed meat that has to be just the right amount of cooked to make it the hero of the dish.  Don’t worry, Brisbane has their selection of meats too but theirs are more a charcuterie selection of delicacies that put together on a board make for a winning combination of salty, melt in your mouth proteins.  Is anyone else following this?

Then comes the defensive part of the meal, this is the roughage that Mum puts on your plate and you just have to get through it or there’s no dessert.  Geelong is sprinkled with Collard Greens down back.  Healthy contributors but will be missing the Spinach following a Popeye-like brain injury.  Brisbane on the other hand is more stacked with staple green vegetables anchored by the versatile Zucchini (Andrews).

My favourite part of the meal is the starchy vegetables that complement the work the protein does.  When people say meat and potatoes, the potatoes are just as important as the meat.  Geelong has the better-quality starches with a lumbering Dutch cream and a highly mobile Desiree doing most of the work in the forward line but are helped by a fleet of Nadine’s that get amongst the action often.  Brisbane on the other hand, after the departure of their prime tuber at the end of last year had a potato blight run through the crop so have turned to some unripened Beauregard sweet potatoes with plenty of little Kipflers scattered about the plate.  This combination has been getting the job done with the support of some quality meat.

To cut through each of these starchy and salt laden meat meals, each dish needs that spicy pickle.  In this case it is Smith for Geelong and definitely Rayner for Brisbane…perhaps even a dill pickle.

Whatever happens it will be a feast on Saturday.  An Entrée of Sticky Ribs with a Gin and Juice reduction from Snoop Dogg then into the Main Course.  Dessert will be optional.  I trust you all enjoy the meal.  Geelong by 24 points.