Round 5 Preview

 Last Week           4/8           Season Total      20/36 (barely better than 50%)!

Not that exciting a round last week.  There was one thrilling game in Adelaide and that’s reason enough to ensure all games are in Adelaide this week.  That’s right, it’s Gather Round.  Or rather this year, “spend $8.3B on fuel” Round.  Ok, maybe the Easter Monday game was a bit exciting too.  Just a bit.

But this week I want to take aim at Kayo.  Maybe someone can see that someone in power at Kayo/Foxtel gets this.  A couple of weeks ago they did an upgrade to their App and the user experience.  I don’t want to mince words, and I don’t know what other feedback they have been getting but it is hands down the worst piece of crap I have ever experienced.  I would rather suffer paper cuts to my eyeballs than use that App, but unfortunately, we have to as there are no other options for that kind/volume of content.  I spent the weekend not watching sport because of it.  As an experienced UX person, I encourage Kayo to reach out.  I beg them to let me help them.  A short list of grievances includes; It doesn’t always do what it should, it obfuscates sports data from the user, its cluttered, programs don’t start, the wrong program is played, not customisable.  Need I go on, because I can.  Please let me help you.

It’s also Masters Week this week so I won’t be watching much footy.  Luckily The Masters has its own App and its fantastic so I’m not beholden to Kayo for that one.

But on to footy, the Opening Round / Bye Rounds fiasco is past us and the ladder can be taken as read.  We are all off to enjoy what Adelaide can offer and this time, all teams are invited.  Let’s take a look at the matches.

Adelaide vs Carlton        Adelaide Oval                   Thursday Night

The round opens with the Crows taking on the Blues.  Adelaide lost a thriller last week against Fremantle and their triumvirate of terror up forward.  On the other hand, Carlton…<insert same content here>…to be overrun in the final quarter.  The good news for Carlton is that they are unlikely to be leading at half time this week and that might come as a welcome relief for their viewers.  I can’t see any scenario where Carlton wins this one.  Adelaide by 35 points.

Collingwood vs Fremantle          Adelaide Oval   Friday Night

Shudders went through the Collingwood faithful when they saw Nick Daicos limping off from a pre-match fitness test and with his withdrawal, the Pies slumped to a near humiliating defeat.  Brisbane found another one of those gears I was talking about but the Pies usually organised defence seemed a bit more like witches’ hats as Draper showed that Steene is not as good as his first game suggested and provided Brisbane with first use and they waltzed it out of the centre on numerous occasions.  Fremantle on the other hand took a commanding lead, got headed and then steadied to take the win by a measly third of a goal.  It was a dying-seconds flying superman-style smother from Captain Pearce that secured the win.  I read one article where they must’ve got the non-sports journalist to write it up.  He referred to Pearce’s effort as a block and talked about the great ‘catches’ in the forward line from Josh Treacy.  It was an amusing read.

This is kind of a tough one.  Pendlebury and Daicos will likely come in, and Collingwood have only lost once at Adelaide Oval since 2018, so it is a ground they enjoy.  But their defence has holes and Fremantle have an attack that would trouble the best defence.  They have a dominant ruck division and a handy, probably better, midfield.  Collingwood’s lack of viable forwards is also an issue.  One can hope that like an Auskick match, to make it more fair Fremantle can give Collingwood a few of their forwards for the match.  It’s the only way I think they can win.  Fremantle by 28 points.

North Melbourne vs Brisbane   Barossa Park      Saturday Afternoon

As mentioned before, North Melbourne ensured they were cunningly behind Carlton at half time, therefore ensuring victory.  Brisbane led from the first bounce and piled on goals at the end to make the margin look worse…no not worse, about right.  This will be a really good test for North Melbourne to pit themselves against the reigning yardstick.  A well planned meeting too, being nice and early on the Saturday leaving ample time to visit the regions wineries afterwards.  Brisbane by 32 points.

Essendon vs Melbourne               Adelaide Oval   Saturday Afternoon

It was looking bad for Essendon for a while, but they managed to steady the ship and keep the margin respectable in the end.  Melbourne were the talk of the town after pulling Gold Coasts pants down.  What would Petracca think of that?  It’s one thing to see your ex with a beautiful new partner and another to go and punch that partner in the face.  Tastefully done by Melbourne if I do say so myself.  On the back of a win like that comes confidence…or maybe cockiness.  Melbourne by 31 points.

Sydney vs Gold Coast    Norwood Oval  Saturday Afternoon

Speaking of pulling your opponents pants down, Sydney didn’t stop there.  They buried the pants in a shallow grave and came back later to exhume and incinerate the evidence.  The management at Norwood would be well pleased with the quality of match they’ll be getting at the Oval, and I hope to see people hanging from the rafters to get a great vantage point.  Given the quality of Sydney’s opponent last week its hard to say how much of that was good form and how much of it was luck of the draw.  Gold Coast will be smarting for not sticking up for their new beau in Melbourne and will no doubt want to atone.  Neutral Ground, toss of a coin or roll of a dice.  I have a six-sided dice from the Bellagio, but I rolled a 7 on it, proving that the house always wins.  Gold Coast by 10 points.

Hawthorn vs Footscray Adelaide Oval   Saturday Night

It was a last gasp boot into the goal post from Gunston that secured a 1-point victory for the Hawks in a pulsating Easter Monday affair.  It was a tough game, and one wonders if they’ll be well enough rested for this match.  Footscray came away from their own victory with a few injuries that will force a few changes coming into this one.  Neither of these teams have found this ground a happy hunting place and perhaps it is the change of opponent that is required.  Having not dropped a game I’m going to stick with my gut (that’s dangerous).  Footscray by 17 points.

Geelong vs West Coast Norwood Oval  Sunday Afternoon

West Coast got the proverbial reality check.  After a couple of good wins, they got what could only be described as a drubbing by the Swans.  The West Australian paper still put a positive spin on it though.  Nothing builds character more than a 20-goal defeat and after two wins in a row the West Coast Supporters expectations were high.  Geelong will rue some missed opportunities and seemed to have the game in the bag before Hawthorn pinched it.  They will look to take out their frustration on a fragile West Coast.  Geelong by 52 points.

GWS vs Richmond           Barossa Park      Sunday Afternoon

Back out to wine country we go for this one.  I don’t know why I tipped Richmond last week.  When I was listening on the radio and it took them nearly 15 minutes to read out all their injuries, I knew I made a mistake.  And it’s because of this that I won’t tip them this week over a well-rested GWS after their bye.  GWS by 41 points.

Port Adelaide vs St. Kilda            Adelaide Oval   Sunday Afternoon

Bookending the week is the other Adelaide team who chalked up their first win of the season last week against a hapless Richmond.  St. Kilda return from a rest and might be buoyed by the fact that they won this fixture last year.  I can’t see any reason why they wouldn’t again.  St. Kilda by 14 points.