Round 7 Preview

 Last Week           7/9           Season Total      33/54

I know I’m pretty cynical about the footy at times.  Mostly because I think the competition is so ridiculously unbalanced that any joy is sucked out of it but often because sports journalism is waaaaay too sensationalised and they make up all these ludicrous stories about nothing.  But then there are the weeks when so much happens I just can’t write enough.  Mind you, when referring to these missives the term ‘journalism’ is not a term I would use… so who cares?

As I said, lots of stuff happened last week starting with the number of games that were very close.  Five of the nine games were under 10 points and although they all went the way we all tipped (except perhaps Melbourne – but then, who tipped them anyway?) this may have made for a very exciting round.  Jezza kicked 10, the most astounding legal proceeding which isn’t a legal proceeding concluded, an umpire got cleaned up big time, about 8000 players got injured (I might have to revise that estimate later), two drongos got a week, a lightning storm fixed some scheduling issues and a player had what only Carlton can describe as ‘an off night.’

Let’s get into it.

Footscray vs Sydney                       Marvel Stadium               Thursday Night

In what can only be described as a scheduling bungle, the AFL decided to have two Friday night matches last week which included both these teams.  Luckily, as far as the excitement of a match goes, neither was worth watching, but because of what insurance companies say when they don’t want to pay you, “an act of God occurred,” the schedule was resolved and both matches mostly happened independently and we could watch both rubbish contests.  If you like Nick the Lizard Blakey you probably liked one match and if you like Jeremy (help me with a moniker) Cameron then watching him kick 10 goals was great.  However, if you are a GWS fan you probably didn’t return to the screen after the lightning display and if you are a Bulldog supporter you probably stopped watching after the ACL rupture that, combined with the dozen other injuries that happened effectively ended your flag tilt.  It was a costly trip down the Princes Freeway for Footscray and given the tough run they’re about to come into I think it’s one they wont easily recover from.  Sydney by 28 points.

Richmond vs Melbourne              MCG      Friday Night

Speaking of injuries, Richmond’s list is about as long as Gene Simmons’ tongue which is a very strange thing to compare it to.  True, there are lots of longer things; a straw, a spoon, the Burj Khalifa for example, but the point I wanted to make is that Richmond may have the problem licked with a few players due to come back in the next few weeks.  Melbourne rolled the reigning premiers last week and their brand of footy even has Gene’s tongue wagging.  While Richmond are getting some players back, they won’t win this one.  Melbourne by 32 points.

Hawthorn vs Gold Coast               York Park             Saturday Afternoon

Buffoons is a good word.  With the right inflections it sounds insulting but also has a playful nature about it.  Try it in your next business meeting and you’ll note that people aren’t sure whether they should be shocked or laughing.  Of course, I’m referencing the Punchy McPunchersons who thought they’d get away with a couple of cheap shots at the only ground that has more cameras than fans and so won’t be making the trip down to Tassie with the rest of the Hawks.  Meanwhile I think Touk Miller should count himself lucky not to be in more trouble after dislocating an umpires shoulder.  This is apparently ok but politely asking them their salary details is strictly forbidden.  Gold Coast have never won at York Park and in fact in their 6 visits there they have lost by 53 points on three separate occasions.  I think they’ll get a bit closer this time though.  Hawthorn by 16 points.

Essendon vs Collingwood            MCG      Saturday Afternoon

This is the big one for these two clubs.  Collingwood has still had its struggles but has been doing enough to either stay in games or just win them.  Essendon has played well the last couple of weeks so would be up for this fight.  For lack of other finals appearances, this is Essendon’s Grand Final and they always put in a bit more effort.  It’s tough to call.  Collingwood has that Jekyll and Hyde style at the moment, so you don’t know what to expect.  Hill and Moore are outside chances, but I don’t think we’ll see them.  Essendon have a young team that might get over-awed by the tense atmosphere.  Will Daicos get the medal?  Or will it be Merrett?  Collingwood by 7 points.

Port Adelaide vs Geelong            Adelaide Oval   Saturday Night

Jezza kicked 10 and Kolijaz…Kolidj…Kolli…Kol…that other guy even kicked a goal.  It was party time for Geelong as they ran rampant and made me feel foolish about my tip.  Port Adelaide really took it up to the Hawks and just missed out.  This week they are at home and Butters will feel happier after his appeal.  Honestly, what a farce!  The story as I saw it was Butters said something, Foot thought he was being mean so penalised him.  For whatever reason, which no-one can truly justify, it ended up in court (despite AFL assurances they are not legal proceedings, if it has a Judge, Kings Councils and Juror’s…).  A highly likely outcome is that they were both right.  It was entirely possible that Butters said one thing but with all the footy noise going on, Foot heard another.  Somehow the jury found in favour of Foot even though the Jury were off to conduct a Home Open 5km away.  Naturally they appealed on the grounds that the Juror was distracted.  If not weird enough, then it got weird.  Part of the submission was that to get from his house to the home open, according to Google Maps, would take 20 minutes but the Google Maps were not admissible as evidence.  Butters lawyer then argued that you cannot have a fair hearing while being distracted all while his dog, a Labradoodle it was noted, barked in the Lawyers home office to the point that he had to turn off the Zoom Call and put the dog outside before resuming while the dog, sorry, the Labradoodle, barked incessantly outside the window.  Distracted!?  If you were a writer of plot twists, I don’t think you would have thought of this.  The most damning thing that came out of it was that somewhere in Melbourne it takes 20 minutes to drive 5 km.  The lesson for Butters is ‘shut your trap’.  Can anyone recall the last time an umpire, whether they were right or wrong, overturned their initial decision?  The Cats have a good record at Adelaide Oval, and I think Port have been a bit distracted.  Geelong by 22 points.

Fremantle vs Carlton     Perth Stadium   Saturday Night

The Dockers made short work of West Coast.  That is a pun given it looked like Fremantle were a damn site taller than West Coast.  But if you do the averages, West Coast were 189.3cm and Fremantle were 188.3cm, so I guess it was about positions.  West Coast must have had all their smalls playing on all of Fremantle’s talls.  Anyway, it was an easy Derby win.  Carlton had a late chance to level the match, but a 4^th gamer wasn’t able to pop it through.  I liked what Pendlebury had to say after the match, and he sounded like a future coach.  Voss’s words weren’t as encouraging.  He didn’t blame the kid but didn’t put it as eloquently as Pendlebury.  But Carlton has bigger issues.  You all know the details and no need to go over them again here.  Needless to say, the young man is now getting the support he needs.  Some systemic failures by Carlton and I reckon the AFL had a part to play too and the repercussions will be big.  The year can’t get much worse for the Blues (one would hope).  Fremantle by 56 points.

St Kilda vs West Coast   Marvel Stadium               Sunday Afternoon

The Saints had last weeks game in the bag but got overrun by the fast-finishing Crows.  You would expect them to out-play West Coast, who after putting in some good early efforts in the season have drifted back to some poorer footy.  McQualter needs to rally the troops and have them believe they are a real chance here if they knuckle down.  St Kilda by 37 points.

Brisbane vs Adelaide     Gabba   Sunday Afternoon

The reigning premiers got a shock and couldn’t get the job done for Neale’s 300^th.  The ladder topping (last year) Crows just scraped in over the Saints in what unfortunately was an emotional match.  Both teams have had a few slip ups at the start of the season and would be keen to score a win to try and boost themselves out of the congested mid-table scramble.  Brisbane are suffering a few injuries which won’t help their cause.  They have the superior midfield, but their backs will need some support to handle the Adelaide forwards.  If you need to scramble a point in the tipping this early in the season, you should consider Adelaide for the upset.  Brisbane by 10 points.

GWS vs North Melbourne           Manuka Oval     Sunday Twilight

The Kangaroos are in the 8 and life looks grand.  But let’s not get too hasty.  Currently they have played 9^th, 12^th, 15^th, 16^th, 17^th, 18^th so their position might be a bit inflated.  This week they play 14^th placed GWS.  It’s all good for building confidence and they are playing better footy too.  They haven’t beaten GWS in 6 years, but they have beaten GWS once in the two times they have played them here at Manuka…but that was 12 years ago, when GWS just entered the competition.  Temperatures are expected to be close to freezing, although they might be in double figures at the start of the game, but single figures by the end.  Whatever happens, a hot shower would be welcome.  GWS by 19 points.

Enjoy your local Anzac Ceremony.  Lest We Forget…