Round 10 Preview

 Last Week           8/9           Season Total      58/81

I’m a busy man so this week will be brief.  This is Sir Doug Nicholls Round Part 1 so if you’re not up to speed you’ll need to get used to the indigenous names being used quick smart otherwise you won’t know who’s playing who.

Let’s pick at the seams and see what unravels.

Brisbane vs Geelong      Gabba   Thursday Night

One of the matches of the round and hence the Marquee spot of Thursday night when, like most people, we have stuff on like getting kids to sport, coaching their basketball side, feeding them, showering them and getting them, and your tired self off to bed because you have work in the morning where you can find out just how awesome the game was from the young guys in the office who haven’t settled down yet.  Geez I’m an awesome malcontent.   Brisbane by 21 points.

Sydney vs Collingwood                 SCG        Friday Night

Collingwood looked like a team tired of life and tired of waiting for Pendlebury to finally break that record so they can move on with life.  They were beaten by 9 goals by the second best side at moving the ball with a forward handball.  Sydney is 10 times better at it than Geelong, so I expect Sydney to beat Collingwood by 90 goals.  If there are any Collingwood supporters out there looking for hope, consider this…Who have Sydney beaten?  They’ve only beaten teams below them on the ladder so they can’t be that good, right?  Right?  Sydney by 59 points.

Gold Coast vs Port Adelaide (Yartapuulti)            Marrara                Friday Night

The Suns remain unbeaten up in the top end and Ross Lyon came up with one of his turn around reverse backhand comments about it too.  A triple negative is still a negative, and Ross delivers them with aplomb.  Port Adelaide can add themselves to the list of teams burned to a crisp by the shining Suns in the North.  Gold Coast by 27 points.

Adelaide (Kuwarna) vs North Melbourne            Adelaide Oval   Saturday Afternoon

Richmond put up a good fight before Adelaide pulled away from them and North Melbourne were on the opposite side of that statement against Sydney.  There’s a lot of young talent in that Kangaroos outfit and they are starting to show some stirrings of goodness.  I’m not sure they can take it all the way to Adelaide on their home patch though.  I could be wrong, who knows?  Adelaide by 16 points.

Melbourne (Naarm) vs Hawthorn            MCG      Saturday Afternoon

If you ask me, Melbourne is the team to watch.  They’re enjoying their football and when a team plays with that kind of spirit, it’s fun to watch.  Hawthorn had no answer to Wharfie Time and will be in a bit of structural difficulty with Barrass going down with a hammy and perhaps grizzled old spearhead Gunston having a foot complaint (not a complaint about the umpire named Foot, but a metatarsal type of complaint).  I really don’t know who will win this.  I’m a romantic at heart, so Melbourne by 22 points.

Carlton vs Footscray       Marvel Stadium               Saturday Night

I’m going to admit I was a bit harsh on Carlton last week.  I fell into the analysts trap of seeing the world in black and white (no, not Collingwood eyes, just polar opposites).  Footy analysts see teams as being either unbackable premiership favourites or so bad that they could be beaten by a team of sloths and manatees.  There is no journey from one end of the spectrum to the other, you’re just at one of the ends.  Given that journey is instantaneous, scientists should look into using footy analysts as spaceship propellant.  The problem with that is when the spaceship gets to where it’s going, it’s bound to be terribly unpopular.  Anyway, Carlton did a reverse Carlton and played like crap in the first half before storming home to just lose differently.  That’s why I think I was harsh.  It’s not as if they are atrocious, they mostly win half a game.  Which tells me they’re on a journey.  It’s surely a Magical Mystery Tour and if marketing can afford the Beatles royalty payment, they should use it to keep their supporters on side (That’s an Invitation, to make a reservation.  The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away.  They’ve got everything you need.  Satisfaction guaran…ah, ok, it doesn’t work).  Footscray bounced back to the winners circle.  I had an inkling but didn’t have the guts to back it in.  Well, to be honest, I told you lot to tip Port, but I tipped Footscray.  It’s part of my master plan.  Get everyone putting their money on one team to increase the odds of the other and that’s when I pounce.  I’m currently $18K in the hole, but I can feel it’s going to turn soon.  Footscray by 34 points.

Late mail.  I was about to hit send on this, but then Voss resignacked, which is a new term I’m trialing.  It is early in the season to do this, and Eddie McGuire's plan continues to grow fruit as another ex-Collingwood person takes the reins to see how far Carlton can be buried.  A few weeks ago, Voss, lamenting one of his teams fade outs, said, “who’d want to be a coach?”  And that is now the ultimate question.  As an assistant coach looking to break out, would you want this one?  As an established coach, would you want this one? “The vessel with the pestle has the pellet with the poison.”  Or is it the Flagon with the dragon? – points if you know what I’m talking about.  How many coaches has Patrick Cripps had now?  Perhaps my scathing assessment last week was bang on?

Essendon vs Fremantle (Walyalup)         MCG      Sunday Afternoon

Speaking of the Beatles, they also wrote Money (That’s What I Want).  Which must be what the AFL was thinking (when are they not thinking that) when they saw what happened on Thursday Night and by Friday morning had applied for a trademark on ‘Wharfie Time.’  Baby You’re a Rich Man is another Beatles song, and they now rub their hands with glee and have sent me two invoices for its use in this missive alone.  Does this mean Fremantle have to pay to use Wharfie Time now?  Given its success, have the AFL now effectively implemented a pay to win model like so many modern computer games.  Luckily, Freo won’t need it this week.  Fremantle by 31 points.

St Kilda (Euro-Yroke) vs Richmond           Marvel Stadium               Sunday Afternoon

I expect St Kilda to get over the line against a developing Richmond side.  Nothing to see here.  St Kilda by 45 points.

West Coast (Waalitj Marawar) vs GWS  Perth Stadium   Sunday Twilight

Jamie Cripps got sent back to the WAFL and blew up his knee.  Given his age and the length of time for recovery, we should expect an announcement soon.  A sad way to end your career.  Not the first and won’t be the last though.  This could get interesting in the first half, but GWS will overpower West Coast in the long run.   GWS by 37 points.