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Round 4 Preview

Last Week           6/8           Season Total      19/27 I’ll start this intro off by taking a swipe at Kayo.  If you want to watch all the games live, then this is your only option.  Also, if you enjoy other sports, like golf, formula 1, car jitsu (that’s wrestling in car) then Kayo is also your go to.  Kayo knows a lot about me.  They keep all sorts of information on me.  Who I am, what my email address is, how to periodically take money from me without me having to know about it, and what I enjoy watching.  They keep all of this information and use it so that they can message me, email, harangue me, cajole me and make sure that I’m always thinking about them and thinking of ways I should be giving them more money.  But the one thing they don’t do, is remember where I got up to when watching 9 and half hours of golf.  A...

Round 3 Preview

Last Week           6/8           Season Total      13/19 I took my own advice and took a trip to the West Coast on the weekend with Family in tow.   It was a lovely getaway.   Of course, it means I didn’t see and barely heard any of the weekends footy action.   I did visit an aquarium sunken into the bottom of a jetty though.   There wasn’t much wildlife that day, but I did note a door at the bottom that said, “in case of fire, open door.”   I couldn’t see anything on the other side of the door other than the entire Indian Ocean , which I suppose after opening would resolve the fire issue.   Then you have a raft of other issues like breathing and being in an environment that news outlets would have you believe is teeming with Great Whites with about a 1 mile swim ahead of you.   Luckily there was no fire, and I solved my anxio...

Round 2 Preview

Last Week   5/9     Season Total   7/11 I gleefully came to write this preview knowing that I got at least 8 correct, but thought I’d check to be sure.   I was shocked.   What was I thinking!?   I missed Richmond by a mere 78 points.   Sydney wasn’t that far off, but then I got Port Adelaide wrong by 106 points!   I gave North a chance, and they were in it right up until Archer tried to remove a head (writing that sentence gives me a sense of de ja vu). In light of the many ridiculous decisions that were made, I have launched a full and independent investigation which will take a full year and cost you, the reader, an absolute fortune, but thought this was the kind of level of detail mandated and you’ll all be much happier with the result.   The reason for the high cost primarily is the background research and soul searching that has to be undertaken.   A private Caribbean Island has been booked for the investigator and me t...

Round 1 Preview

  Last Week  2/2         Season Total  2/2   Thank goodness that Opening Round Malarkey is done with.  Cyclone Alfred really did a number on everyone’s joy.  Two matches aren’t enough to sustain an interest from the public, especially when one game was a fizzer…however, the other was a bit more sizzling.  ‘Z’ is such an underrated letter.  As far as spectacles go, fans from 78% of the population couldn’t have given a rats proverbial about the footy and an entire state was otherwise occupied trying to bale water out of their streets and cafés.  That’s assuming they could even find their baling equipment which was under a few metres of water! The right decision was made of course.  You can’t play footy in a cyclone, or a tropical low.  At least not anymore.  I remember a game back in my day I played when we had a cyclone strength gale and hailstones the size of golf balls.  One guy got knocked ou...

2025 ROUND 0/Opening Round/Round A/Pre Round 1 AFL Preview

Round 0 Addendum FYI, the Opening Matches Brisbane vs Geelong and Gold Coast vs Essendon have been postponed until later in the season due to Cyclone Alfred bearing down on the Queensland Coast.   From a viewers perspective, this is unfulfilling.  I mean it’s only 700mm of rain and category 2 winds.  I for one would have liked to see a kick-in go for a goal and the tactics the coaches would have employed.  It would be a good opportunity to get a Water Polo coach in to teach the players how to effectively apply a testicle snapping wedgie.   I don’t know what this means for your tipping competition, but Opening Round is now a Dud.  They should have held it in Vegas, like the NRL.   But seriously, if you’re in Queensland, take care.  Cyclones are serious business. Last Week           0/0           Season Total      0/0 The off season ju...

2025 Pre-Season Analysis

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 Here we are, as Queen once sung.  Born to be Kings, the Princes of our Universe.  The AFL season is a lot like the movie Highlander (1986).  I don’t mean it in the way that there is a Scottish guy playing a Spaniard-named Egyptian fellow who is culturally Japanese, while the American-born Frenchman plays the Scottish guy trying to behead the American guy who is Russian…that would be too simple.  I mean that “There Can Be Only One.”  Except when it is a draw.  But ultimately there really can be only one.  Still with me? The off-season is almost at a close and what a ride it has been.  The cricket tests against India were less than convivial but very engaging.  Sinner lived up to his name but then was given a sentence so light that gravity couldn’t even capture it, and Trump was inaugurated heralding in an era of…I don’t know what.  Sadly, we lost a few past champions of the game, all within a day of each other. The “Match Simula...

Finals - 2024 Grand Final Review

 The season is done and what an end to the season it was.  By that, I mean it was really disappointing.  After one of the closest seasons in history, it was really disappointing that the Grand Final was such a blowout.  Firstly, lets deal with Sydney.  If you’re a Sydney supporter, you’re not going to like the next bit…I suggest you skip the next paragraph. Luckily, the English language is highly flexible and has words for almost everything.   The word that I feel most fits this situation is ‘Insipid’.   Or maybe I’d choose deplorable.   Sydney was bad…really bad.   They didn’t even turn up.   A lot of their positive attitude responses at the end of the game was that they’d prefer to get to the Grand Final to have a chance to swing a punch than not get there at all.   The problem is that they didn’t throw a punch.   If you’re running the rope-a-dope strategy, the key to it is once your opponent is tired from smashing you, you...